0 comments / Posted on by Betty Morris


January is that time of year when we reflect on the events of our life over the past year and start New Year’s resolutions in the hopes of changing our lives in a positive way.  I have been sharing with you about having a balanced life and making changes so that you are more content and satisfied in your everyday life.   If you are thinking about relationship expectations, I believe there are some basic needs all women want and need from their “other half” and… since Valentine’s Day is coming upon us, I thought I might share a few of these “not so secret” desires with you.  Women aren't exactly the great mystery that men often make us out to be.  A poll was taken and there was a list of 10 basic and simple things women want in a relationship.  Here goes:

  1. Respect. Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, friends, bodies and minds. You don't have to agree with all that we say or do, but try to honor our opinions as valuable contributions. Follow the golden rule and treat us as you would like to be treated:  Be honest, fair, kind, and considerate.
  2. Communication.  Women are vocal creatures. We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it, too. We can also be insecure. We wish we weren't, but the reality is that we often notice our jiggly thighs and the weight we have gained. So let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us we're beautiful. It helps us feel good. Plus, when we feel sexy we are more likely to act sexy. Words of appreciation aren't half-bad either. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Thank us for driving the kids to school. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. It doesn't have to be over the top, just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful.
  3. Romance.    Date nights, making out in the car, dancing in the living room,  kissing like when we first met - all of the things that made us fall in love with you don't have to stop just because now there are bills to pay, a house to be cleaned, and kids that need to get bathed.  Treat us like you did before we became your wife.  Another night of staying in and watching TV on the couch doesn’t mean the evening can’t be romantic.  Light a few candles… open a bottle of wine and see where the night leads.  Once in a while, bring home flowers for no reason.  We're not talking about a $100 bouquets of roses here…the small bouquets from the supermarket are enough to make us smile.
  4. Sex.  Yes, we love sex… but the small physical touches like holding hands, massages and shoulder rubs go a long way in letting us know that you are interested in something else besides the “home run”.  Always remember, there are four bases to cover in the bedroom… not just one.  Take the time to get to know our  body and its responses. 
  5. Time.  We understand relationships aren’t going to be all wine and roses, but spending time with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and love letters you could write.   This includes helping with chores around the house.  In this 21st-century both partners probably work.  If you happen to get home before we do, vacuum the living room or throw in a load of laundry.   If you take the garbage out without being asked…well…that is huge! 
  6. Engage:  Show an interest in our passions and the things we get excited about, whether it is career related, a sport or a hobby, or just a friendship that is important to us.  You don't have to like everything we like, but just listen to our thoughts and feelings when we talk to you.   We're not speaking just so we can hear our own voice… we want to connect with you on a deep emotional level.  This also means paying attention to the little things…what movies we like, our favorite restaurant and favorite dessert, our little habits that we do each day.
  7. Humor and Humility.  These two go hand in hand.  Laughter is such good medicine.  However, this doesn’t necessarily mean cracking jokes and being the entertaining clown.  It just means being able to laugh and have fun…like laughing at yourself and not taking yourself too seriously.  Men who take themselves too seriously are a downer to everyone around.
  8. Dinner:  You may not be good at cooking…but you can rustle up something once in a while in the kitchen!   Greeting us at the door after a long day with fish sticks, a hamburger or even ordering in Chinese when you know we have had a hectic day, makes us swoon, because it shows that you've been thinking about us. 
  9. Consistency.This doesn't mean you need to be boring and predictable. It means that we can count on you to always be there to give us the love and support we need. Knowing that you are always in our corner no matter what difficulties we face or encounter goes a long way in making us feel secure and safe.
  10.  Challenge. Not the kind that makes the relationship constant work, but the kind of challenge that surprises and motivates us to achieve what we desire in life.  Studies show that partners who encourage each other to meet their goals and dreams are ultimately happier than those who don't hold each other accountable.




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